A wonderfully ordinary life

Today was wonderfully ordinary. It came as a surprise how pleasantly content I am because lately life has been so inconsistent. Freelancing, causal work, infrequent paychecks, job hunting. Every shift spent scraping leftover pasta off plates another resume is born and slowly this search for the “adult” job has started to feel like a form of quite self-torture.

I think part of it comes from comparison. Lately, the words I hear from friends are investing, mortgage brokers, promotions, credit cards, proposals, babies. If it’s not a proposal on my Instagram feed, or people popping champagne in front of real estate signs, then it’s conversations with people about salaries, a new tv show, or a trending product. ‘How’s the job hunt going?’, ‘When are you moving out?’, ‘Did you start investing?’ are the titles of all my dreaded catch-up conversations. These unaccomplished milestones leave me thinking about the future more than I would like to be, and it feels like if I am not doing what everyone else is doing than I am falling behind and honestly, I am tired of trying to keep up.

I often find this future planning overwhelming, so I have learned to let my heart lead the way. The human inside of me wants nothing to do with ETFs or getting in the market; instead I just want to enjoy every moment. I would rather spend every day pursuing my passions than make a choice for something simply because it’s rational, correct or society tells me that I ‘should’ do that. I wonder how my life would be different if I grew up somewhere away from the city. What would my future plans be if I lived in rural India? If money didn’t exist, how would I measure my progress in life? When I remove myself from the city landscape I realise that quality time, good food, and a dip in the ocean every so often would be enough to fulfil me, totally. I think it is freeing to realise that most of the time when I am feeling behind it is because I am comparing myself to a story I didn’t write. I realise I don’t need to be checking things off right now what I need is to define my own version of a wonderful successful life and for me I have found that that comes from pursuing my passions and following my heart.

Only now am I realising how in love I am with my life and it’s because I choose to follow curiosity over certainty. I go towards adventure, creativity, and passion over everything else. And my life is so flexible and rich because of that freedom. I have the time to learn and play; that’s why I started taking Spanish classes and joined a volleyball team this year. I have the ability to enjoy time with myself, my people and appreciate every day without rushing. I work at a bar one day per week just for fun, and on the other days I design brands or build my creative portfolio. I travel as frequently as I can, and I make it a priority in my life to learn. I love the openness, the passion, and the sense of play that exist in my life because I chose this freedom.

Sometimes people tell me things like “you’re so lucky to be able to do that,” or “your life is so adventurous and fun.” I really love that people have this impression that I am living my best life because, honestly, for most of it, I truly am. Although, sometimes it makes me wonder if people think that it just comes to me like that. That people think I am living this life by luck? Of course, there is an element of fortune. I am lucky for accessibility, my parents, my life in Australia and many opportunities. I am not just lucky though; I am intentional. My life is the way it is because I choose that and always have.

Every day, for as long as I can remember, I have chosen to pursue the things that I want to. Put simply, I just do what I feel. That often means I sacrifice things like money and career progression. I was offered a role with a competitive salary in 2023 and I turned it down. In the past few days of job rejections I did question if that was the right choice but I don’t look back regretfully upon that because many other different opportunities presented themselves in this time which led me to this wonderfully ordinary day today. I do truly believe in taking a leap of faith for the things I am curious about because nearly every time it makes me feel more fulfilled than anything else. That’s why I spent two years building a podcast and never received a cent for the work I did. It’s why I quit my job to make my dream of visiting New York a reality. It’s the reason I met my current partner, formed a healthy relationship, and am now just two days away from visiting his family in Argentina. Again and again, life has shown me that its best moments come from leaping toward curiosity rather than certainty.

The downside to this is that often leaves me feeling lost, behind, or stuck in life, but that’s why I am writing this, I guess. I believe we should challenge and critically evaluate why we have feelings sometimes because it all makes sense when you can see it on paper. Behind the scenes, my life looks like uncertainty, unpaid work, guilt, shame, self-doubt, and burnout. For a long time, this lifestyle has led me to invalidate how hard I work. I have believed that I am lazy and I don’t work, even though actually I think my work just looks different to multiple digits in a bank account. It’s not the 9-5; it’s every day, every decision, it’s my life. My work is my life. It’s thinking, choosing, discipline, commitment, belief, practice, learning, networking, and showing up for things I want. For many years, I have been conditioned to think work always returns in money, but now I realise that this is what I misunderstood about life. I define my own success and for me, the return is not money but it is freedom.

And when I think about all of the inner work and courageous decisions it has taken to find this path now, I feel very proud of the life I have built. And I am lucky to have met people that inspire me that this intuitive lifestyle exists. Some of those people I met backpacking, but many others are good friends of mine, disguised as waitresses or corporate professionals, slowly, quietly, and courageously making choices for what they want too. When I think of the hippies that I made friends with in the tropics and my professional working friends in the city, I notice we are all chasing the same thing.

So despite not having the job I want right now, there is a lot to be grateful for. My day was wonderfully ordinary. And here I am at 11 at night, sipping chamomile tea, feeling thankful as I realise my life is wonderful because I’ve chosen to define it that way. I realise there is nowhere I ‘need’ to or ‘should’ be. My lack of a job does not determine my character or worth even if society makes me feel like it does. Life is a series of choices we make that create our experience and quietly I am really happy with mine and all the consequences that come with that. Shakshuka on a Monday morning, falling asleep while the sun is still shining, and losing track of time with someone I love. I think sometimes we forget that this is what it’s all for: our own version of a wonderfully ordinary life.